Learning To Say No

Learning to say NO!

Learning to say no it's tough! Are you a people pleaser? Do you struggle to say no when asked to do something? I know I've written about this topic in the past, but I was having a conversation with one of my clients recently and came up with the following mental checklist for her. I thought I would share.

When you were asked to do something, take a second before committing and run through these questions:

1. Is my immediate gut reaction to say yes because the opportunity excites me? If it feels right, go for it if you can make it work with your schedule!

2. Will it bring you joy? I am not talking about bringing joy to your children, your spouse, your family… Will it bring YOU joy?! If it will, and it won't hurt someone else, do it!

3. Could you spend that time doing something else that would bring you (more) joy. In life we face many “shoulds”.… If you find yourself feeling like you “should'' do something, stop yourself and explore how doing it will make you feel. “Shoulds” are where resentment begins. Carefully consider how you will feel if you commit. Is there another opportunity for you to spend that time creating growth in your life, your career, your relationships?

4. Will it improve your life in some way? Will saying yes to something, even when it is out of your comfort zone, or scares you, or might be tough, or because it involves trying something new… improve your life? Will improve your relationships, your financial standing, your community connection, your career, if the answer is yes to those questions, then say yes! Challenge yourself to grow!

As you consider these questions, if your answer is no, it won't bring you joy, it won't improve your relationships, you could be doing other things that could make your life better at that time, it's not going to improve your life… If the answer is just I feel like I “should”… This is your opportunity to create a boundary and say no! We are given one life, protect the time that you are given!